Well I have not blogged since February!! and even then, those were mainly just video blogs and lyrics...
Not like anyone comes onto my blog constantly to see if I have updated anything... but thought I should maybe give an update on "The life story of Nessa" So if you are reading, enjoy :)
So my last personal post was 28th January so a good month and so ago... and re-reading it now, was a pretty in depth, heavy one... but since then things have changed I guessed.
Had a epic 2 weeks of depression, not wanting to come out of my room, went on long walks that led into the early mornings, missed lectures and just did nothing. But with the help of some friends and my mum, I got out of it, and realised "what the hell am I doing?" I realised that since coming to uni I had turned into some emotional wreck, and needed to re find who I once was. Which was helped by going back home on weekends, and having the goober of Chanita come up and stay... and I am going to say, I am close to finding myself again. I've blocked out everything that puts me down, and gone back in the mode of "why should I do things that make me unhappy" Because that's how I once was. I really do not care if people think that "Oh she does anything she wants" because yeah I do. As long as I'm not hurting anyone, I will go off and do what I want, because why would I stick around doing things I'm really not enjoying, when I could be doing things that I do enjoy? You only live this life once, and life is way too short to be un-happy and not do anything about it. Of course there are certain things that I'm blocking out, that I would like back in my life, but there is no point waiting on something that might not ever happen again. As long as I have my close friends and family, I'm not bothered, because there the ones that care, understand me, and are always there.
As with Uni work... It is piling up and getting harder to be honest, but its nothing too serious, and am sorting it all out, so that is all okay. When people ask me "how is uni going?" I always think about it and just reply "yeah its ok" but to be honest, it is amazing! Waking up in the early hours of the morning may be horrid and effort, but knowing that I am going in to do music, just makes it all that better. I remember the days in school from first school up to sixth form, knowing that if I had music that day, it would make the day so much better, and now I get to wake up everyday to that feeling, and its amazing :)
Only really got 5 weeks left of year 1 at uni.... which is exciting but scary at the same time. Next year shall be living in a new house with two amazing people, which will be amazing :) but also on the other hand, year 2 will be when the work really kicks in, and shall have to keep on top of it all, as it actually counts to the final mark!!
Still all exciting stuff :)
But yeah, not really sure what else to put really...
Shall start blogging more regularly again, because even if no one reads it, or cares, I find it fun :) And I do like to look back on it all, and think wow, I am glad things are different now.
Follow me? :)
