What has changed since 2012

A five year change is A LOT to write about and if I am honest, I have no idea where to start. 

So, sit back and lets bullet point this!

- James and I are still together, six years strong! 

After uni and literally living in each others pockets for two years we begun a long distant relationship as I moved back to Milton Keynes and James moved back to Norwich. At the start it was extremely hard I can't even begin to describe, however, over time it got easier and we got into a routine of seeing each other every two weeks and spending longer time when possible. However, after 2 years of living apart we now live together again which is super exciting and is a start of a new chapter! In short we are very happy and I am looking forward to seeing what is in store for us in the future.  

- Jobs, Careers and Becoming an Elf....?

In second year of uni I secured a work experience placement as a Tape-Op at a place called the Music Shed. Having this type of work experience under my belt helped me once I finished uni as I was able to get an internship at a local studio in Milton Keynes. Even though I managed to get a internship very quickly after university, it was un-paid and I started needing money. Therefore, my true calling came! I took on a job as a Christmas Elf at the local shopping centre! This job was the strangest job I have held. We had to wear a elf costume and then whilst in costume be the happiest elf - after every day my cheeks hurt! Being an elf was great pay and to be honest easy once you got over how painful smiling all day was. However, Christmas is only one month in a year and my 6 month internship was coming to an end. Unfortunately they were unable to offer me a paid job, which I was sad about as I loved working there was a studio engineer and also marketing manager. But when one door closes another truly does open and I got a job at BBC Worldwide - a paid job! Annoyingly it was as a sales planner however, from working there for a year and 10 months I managed to contact some people who worked within BBC Radio and did several trail shifts and weekend work. I never thought radio would become a bigger passion to recording and editing bands and it didn't but it did knock against it. (I also did another elf shift) 

The need to be in a studio grew greater and in November 2015 I quit my job at BBC Worldwide and got a job as a Broadcast Engineer at Global. I am still working there now! and I LOVE it! I love being able to work in studios and with creative people again. Planning events, managing sound and creating something great. 

- I have two new cute additions in my life

As well as my cousin William who I adore to the moon and back, he is now 6. I now have another cousin - Max, who is 1 and a nephew (James nephew but mine too 😜) - Henry who is also 1. They are both so different from each other but I love them both the same! 💙

- My New Love

The most recent change in my life right now is my love for running! 

6 months ago, the only running I did was for a bus or for one minute on the treadmill and then give up. However, that all changed when my best mate said we was going to workout with her friend - what I didn't know, was we was actually about to go on a 5k run 🙈 That first run felt very strange and it took me 48 minutes to complete. Since then I have ran nearly every week, sometimes twice a week! I have ran in a race, on the beach, in the rain and wind and with many amazing people, such as my dad! I have also joined a running club which I never thought would become a haven to me. I have achieved so much with running, I have ran a distance of 8km and have beat that 48 minute time for 5k with 37 minutes! 💪💪 I feel fitter and have become a true lover of running!

Well I am not sure right now what else to update on... therefore, I will just leave it there 😊

Until next time - Watch this space x

Five years on

Hello! I'm back again! I didn't realise it had been so long! For that I apologise.

When I first started writing 'The life story of Nessa" I was 15 years old and used the blog as a way of expressing those teenage emotions and adventures. However, sadly when I got into university the blogging slowly stopped. This was a combination of reasons; I went through a very dark time and I realised I was sharing too much and in short, I just made the decision that people didn't care and stopped blogging.

I wish I never made that decision. 

People most likely won't care now, however, I still care. 

Blogging is an escape. A way to throw everything out there and reading back on past blogs is a fun way to reminisce and realise how much I have grown.

I want to continue to blog how I once did and if people want to read and enjoy then that is just an extra bonus :)

It is going to take a while to get back into it but watch this space! 

Why cant I be normal.

I feel like a f**king idiot!!

I am sitting here crying my eyes out, feeling as though it is the end of the world because I have to sleep by myself tonight, in a empty house.....  what the hell is wrong with me?!!!
Why does my brain have to think of the worse possible solutions that could happen!!
I looked like a complete dick as my boyfriend left me at my front door.... surprised he can put up with this... I act like a spoilt 3 year old.... ARGH I HATE THIS!!!
I think I am partially crying my eyes out right now, because of how f**king frustrated I am with being like this!!!
People think I am a complete freak if i say... I cant sleep by myself because I think of horrible/bad things....
I wish this would go away!!!
I hate being this way now... I just want to be a normal person... I feel like a freak.

I literally feel sick, at the thought of turning of the light and shutting my eyes, knowing I am all by myself.
My whole body aches in pain at the thought...
People reading this must think I am so weird.... but I seriously can not help it..
I know me crying like a 3 year old is perfetic.... which is why this is so frustrating.... because I know how I am acting... and is f**king p**ses me off!!

Even when I went to the doctors and asked for help, the best advice she gave me was to see a counsellor.... I saw one of them 5 years ago.... it did not help at all!!! In fact it made me feel worse, because I had to sit outside a crap office with everyone being able to see and I felt like a psycho... I would much rather have some kind of pill that eased my brain from thinking about the things it does... because believe me it is not right!
If I wrote down all the things that are going through my head right now.... most if not all my friends would most likely not want to be friends with me anymore.. :'/

I feel f**king miserable. :(
I hate this.
I would like for this to go away.
I would like to be a normal person.
I dont wish for my boyfriend to think I am a spoilt child.
I just want to have one night, where I can sleep all by myself, without thinking evil things are going to hurt me.

Is that too much to ask for.... :'(

I just want someone to understand and help me...
I need help.

End of 2011

As it is approaching the end of the year 2011, I thought it would be nice to do an overall of the year 2011 obviously of my life... as this blog is "the life story of nessa"

So looking through my posts, they are becoming extremely depressing... so I am going to try and make this one not be so negative :)
So here we go... The overview of 2011 for me

January

Well lets just mention I did this, around this time last year: Last years overview
Now with that out the way... January 2011.... Spent half of the month at home, hanging out with the MK friends, and just enjoying life at home, such as going out to lunch with the family, and raiding the condaments sections in the cafe....

Aswell as a night out with the Goober (Chanita) Which was an amazing night:

Also went to see one of my favourite MK local bands with the goober, called Exit Avenue, in which I was on a mission all night to get a tshirt... in which I didn't actually get one until getting my friend Dean (who was working at the gig) to find someone from the band, so i could buy a damn tshirt.... also Chanita experienced her first mosh pit... which was interesting and hilarious LMAO!
Also within the month of January 2011... I experienced my first night out with my lovely wifey Shona!
As well as taking an epic long walk around Milton Keynes to get to my nans,  The Epic Walk
Then leaving MK and heading back to Derby to start Year 1 semester 2.... in which it was good to be back, and see my Flat 10C lot, and start learning new things again :) However I think after being at home for a whole month, going back to living by myself, and as well as having such a good time at home... I did get very depressed by the end of January... and got myself into a very bad place... however... I said this post is not going to depressing so enough of that...

Some Quotes from January 2011

These quotes were mainly said by me, Jos or Sophie and people on the TV :)

"GLEE NESSA!, GLEE!" - Jos

"Why would i want a burger when i have a steak" - Some guy from Tool Academy

"Im excited cant you see it in my pants?" - Jos

"PRINCE ALBERT" - Programme, The joys of teen sex

"Woman have the ugliest parts" - Sophie "but Mens parts are pretty freaky too!" - Me


"STRANGER DANGER, I shall just put the locks on" - Jos

"Lets live in the car :)" - Me


"CHHAAAAAAAAAAAVVV!!!...... oh no wait.... Asian" - Jos

February: 

Well in February... from what I remember not very much happened... and as i already mentioned, by the end of January I had got myself into a very dark place, and was very home sick. So yeah February 2011... I spent most of my time with the lovely Flat 10C lot and at home in Milton Keynes!

A good thing that happened within this month, is that Goober came to visit me which was the BEST WEEKEND EVER!!! : Goobers visit

March:

Things became a lot brighter in March, I started to find my feet again, concentrated on my uni work (as it was becoming alot harder) Spent a lot of time hanging around with the flat 10C lot, and the legendary Sophie Morrison... (who I will admit is most likely my uni best friend? lol)
Also broke down in March when helping Sophie try and fix her car... but ended up breaking down and having to park the car by pushing it, and then getting a lift from the RAC man to the city!
So yeah March was a good positive month, where I was just being the old me, and just really spending time with myself and friends.

April:

April again, was quite a realisation month... I started to get my head fully back out of the dark place it had been, started realising the important things in life and concentrated on them... and questioned myself a lot and found answers... as for example... a certain male that I had forced to be my best friend, even though I thought he hated my guts, I kept pushing myself on to him, and I started to question myself about my feelings for him... stupidly denying that I liked him more than a friend... even though my friends who I spoke to about him, said that I was obviously in to him... Which I dunno why I kept denying it... I guess it was because I was scared... because to me, he was an extremely good friend and i didn't want things to go wrong... But yeah, was quite a realisation month... that in fact i did like him... although i kept it to myself... because I wanted to concentrate on my exams!
Also within the month of April 2011... I had to break into my own house with the goober: The break in

May:

The month where everything changed!!
I voted for the first time in my life! and begun to change my hair to be the colour blonde :)
The exams where over and I was set on getting the guy who had been on my mind for months. :)
18th May, Went to James boxing match in which Jos and Sophie laughed at me for being so worried about him, and especially Sophie shouted at me to let him know how I feel... After watching him box, which was the most intense moment ever! I went out to find him, in which when i saw him, just resting my forehead on his and staring into his tired eyes, was like being in a film where nothing else mattered... that is when i kissed him, and finally got the guy, James Andrew Salisbury <3 That was the best night of my life <3
The rest of May was spent being with the amazing James, lounging around, going to the park for picnics and just being with each other!

June

My little sister turned sweet 16!

I came to terms with having anxiety, Living with anxiety
Was introduced to stumble by James <3
As well as having to leave halls, and go home for the summer, which was a very weird strange sad day, mainly because I had to leave my first "home" as being independent, as well as having to go back to MK and not to see James for a while :/

July

Started up a new Store on Zazzle : My store

Saw Foo fighters, Biffy Clyro and Jimmy Eat World <3
And saw James! <3
Especially going to his house, which was AMAZING!!!
Such a nice house! Went to the Norwich city, watched films, ate yummy food, saw chickens, and went to the Zoo :D Was actually so much fun! Best thing that happened in July! and his family is amazing as well!

August

I turned 19... which I had a party, which was good except it was soooo god damn windy!!
I also had to go  back to Derby early to some referalls, but it was alright as the amazing James came with me, so it was good :D
and I passed them all as well :P Boo Yah!
Also had my first experience at shooting an Air Rifle :  Exploding Can Video

September

Started Year 2 at uni, which was extremely stressful, as there was a ton of work load! compared to the first, as well as I realised I had moved into the shittest house in the world! However seeing James everyday was worth it :)
Also celebrating my amazing boys 21st birthday :) by dressing up as a pirate :P

October

Was spent doing uni work, seeing my amazing boyfriend James, and shopping trips with Sophie!
Visited Angela in Nottingham with Chanita for the weekend which was aweeeshoome!
Went on the heights of Abraham with James and his family <3 :)
Also recorded voice dubs for SAW Live Event in Derby with the gorgeous James doing the voice :)
Also when Haloween approached dressing as a superhero! Which was interesting :P

November

Celebration of 6months with James, which was spent with Chinese and a film :) Perrrrrfect :D <3
Me and James also signed for our first flat together :)
Got a Job as a Tape-Op at The Music Shed :D First step in the door!

December

Well this is it... December.... end of 2011.... December held a rush of assignments to hand in, followed by Christmas and now New Years Eve!

Overall of 2011

Went into the dark and found the brightness at the end.
Found my soul mate <3, and passed my first year of uni!

Some Pictures of 2011



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




Hopes for 2012

For the world NOT to end haha!
To pass my 2nd year of University
And to continue on with my wonderful amazing relationship with James <3

Happy New Year 

Hope you all have an amazing 2012

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